Midterm is approaching, 4 subjects, but only 2 subjects need hardcore readings, the other 2 exam on writing skills, which means all are die hard.

didn't mean to play hard over the weekends, but again, I relaxed for it,  hang out with Victor in MLF, after he fished, I went to Hei Hei with C on Fri night, had much fun, met T (H's friend) in Hei Hei, C left early and we chatted and dance together, we stayed at Mcdonald until 9 am, isn't that crazy?  He did tell me something about H, but I don't really want to know, so I didn't ask more in depth, but I can draw inference that H is having a new gf, fine, they are all past tense right?

I didn't think of him or another H these few days, enough shit that I've taken.

On Saturday, I watch a movie with Des, Gloomy Sunday, not bad, I like the feeling the movie brought, seems like you are breathing with the air in Budapest.

Sunday, another lazy day, guess what I did? haha

Will keep swimming twice a week.

Stayed home whole day, didn't do much, but finally hanged out with an old friend to Hei Hei, first time going there, was pretty fun.

Had lots of drink though, beer+long island+B52 (1 shot).  Enter into the sleeping mode right away.  He took me home afterwards.

Wake up at 11am, rush and submit the assignment which due today, then go sing K with stan+eric+ed+victor, fun afternoon.

Back home afterwards, wrap up another assignment, did little reading, msning for the whole night, felt mo liu.  I was again thinking :(

Didn't sleep much last night, was fixing router setting for the whole night until 6am, then wake up at 11am and did some assignment which due on Monday.

Went out with Victor in the afternoon, walking around MK and bought a mo liu doll for myself, it's cheap, just $15.  Then went to Eason concert and that was just ok, as I'm not a big fan of him.  Only the last couple of songs sound familiar to me, especially the 夕陽無限好, used to listen to that when I was with H last year. oh well...

After the concert, we (S+E) went for Tsui Wah for noodle, then we head to bar, had some nice chat there.  Wish J to be here, that would be great fun. keke.

That place make me forget about all the relationship stuff, as nothing will happen over there really.  But still, I can still see guys with big chest and big arm around, all those suffice.

手放開 李聖傑

我把自己關起來只留下一個陽台
每當天黑推開窗 我對著夜幕發呆
看著往事 一幕一幕 再次演出你我的愛

我把電視機打開聽著別人的對白
也許那些故事可以給我一個交代
你要的愛 我學不來
眼睜睜看情變壞 人怔怔看情感慨

不能給你未來 我還你現在
安靜結束也是另一種對待 當眼淚流下來
傷已超載 分開也是另一種明白

我給你最後的疼愛是手放開
不要一張雙人床中間隔著一片海
感情的污點就留給時間慢慢漂白
把愛收進胸前左邊口袋

最後的疼愛是手放開
不想用言語拉扯所以選擇不責怪
感情就像候車月台 有人走有人來
我的心是一個站牌 寫著等待

我把收音機打開聽著別人的失敗
哽咽的聲音彷彿訴說著相同悲哀
你的依賴 還在胸懷
我無法輕易推開 我無法隨便走開
感情中專心的人容易被傷害

Finally, life without any H, that's the final destination.

Feel better, went swimming alone, yes, ALONE.  Haven't done stuff alone for quite awhile, it's time to change, isn't it?

As I did the assignment for Monday, today is a pretty relax day, Stanley went hiking with friends so I decide to go swim myself, as to keep it as a habit, and I want to build up muscles on biceps and shoulders. Keke, look better.

Sept 25 is H's (keep H for continuity purpose only) Bday, was thinking whether to get him things, or send him card, or give him a call, or ... finally the day has come and I decide to text him with a simple line, just "Happy Birthday and wish you the best"

I felt relieved. 不想放手,還須放手

Stay home all day today, did those assignments, watch old dvds again, I guess I need to get some more from HMV, as I stay home more often, obviously need more DVD to play on computer while I'm studying.

H( or I shouldn't call H anymore) send me sms today, asking how did I know I will see him on that day, and I replied bcoz I think too much.  Wanted to say more but I didn't, I'm just a love sick fool all in all. Oh well, things will get better later as time will fade everything away.

new.H got the same problem, we seems distant, he doesn't tell me things and he allege that those are too trivial, then when he mention that, such as, like teenager chatting and fooling around, I can't stand them.  We haven't seen each other for long time, like 10 days, we met twice, but with his parent in both occasions, so they don't count, and he now doesn't have an urge to see each other.  We plan to meet tmr, but he said he has hw to do and won't come out until 7, also he got a cold, and excuses all over, maybe it's not a good time to meet tmr right?  I made that decision for him.

I wanted to say that he is too naive to me, as if he is still a kid, fooling around in school.  But I hold it, at times I just make decision too soon.

Deny it not, I still have thought of H.

Can't get H out of my mind today, yesterday and day before, been suffering, maybe because new.H cheated on me the other day and I start to lose faith on him.  It's normal I think, I just hated people cheated on me. Today I was on my way to Ocean Terminal and I met H on the way, just a quick greeting as his supervisor was with him, I then sms him with the same old shit, he didn't reply, wise for him not to reply.  I don't know how the whole thing will come to an end and I don't really want that to end.

Struggling this morning whether or not to send sms to H, as his b-day is approaching, wanted to get him something, yes, I'm very bad, even he treated me badly (I think, but at least he never cheats me), I still want to be with him.

new.H just like to treat all the gals nice, and I did explain to him that this won't work and more gals will fall into his trap, and more problem for me later on.

I don't know what to do, things just like drifted apart and I can't help thinking when I'm alone studying or travelling in MTR.

開左學之後好忙,好快就咁過了兩個星期,week5-6就有midterm啦,死得.

呢幾日都有打俾的好朋友問佢地感情野,又係我又chum又悶的事啦,問的野越來越無聊,連自己都覺得,人生就係咁,好多呢的野發生,還是是我個人天生無聊,多疑啦.

今日有成四堂咁多,都無時候想了,去了haircut finally,精神了許多.

學校本來可以請我同另一位同學做program assistant,但基於conflict of interest的問題,唔請得,不過個prof會請我做佢自己的assistant,都唔錯.

今晚都仲要做功課星期五交.好,我都應該收拾心情唔再想那些情愛野,諗得太多有的厭倦.

暑假又快過去了,今日收到Summer Course的成績,兩科B+都算係咁,OK lar, 雖然我想高分的啦. 完成了整個programme,終於.

H send 左個sms俾我,我都覆了,之後就再沒有回應.我無諗什麼...

今日佢打來,為了PXXW 的電話plan,我會繼續用因為我諗我一路都會講好多電話. 跟住佢問我點解咁cool,唔想答,唔係唔知點解呀?佢又話做朋友唔使咁cool,我對其他朋友都無咁,不過我真係唔想再想住佢,唔對佢cool就好似俾個希望自己覺得佢會改變,我知佢唔會.

delete哂佢的contact真係好有用,本來bookmark左佢的diary,都已delete了,就算佢係上面寫什麼都唔會見到.大家又無common friend,仲容易,根本唔使同任何人交代,家人又唔知.仲好啦.

其實都無傷心,可能之前一直都知同佢無結果,一齊為了一齊,唔係為將來.已經無諗佢,係咪好絕情呢?